The Way Back
by CharredFox
Summary: Susan is devastated after the loss of her beloved brothers and sister. How will she go on? Oneshot.


_Usually, the Chronicles of Narnia are taboo, as far as fanfiction goes, in my mind. But this was keeping me up all night after someone put the question of what happened to Susan up on a forum, so here it is. I'm certain I got a few details wrong... such as the fact that Aslan said he wouldn't see them as the Lion again... which I remembered just after it was too late to go back. Anyway, pointing out other uncanonical things like that would be greatly appreciated, as would other critiques of any kind. Thank you._

**Note: Contains spoilers for The Last Battle.  
**

Susan tried hard to hold back tears. How could it be? Her brothers, Lucy... everyone she had held dear... gone.

"God, why... how could you?" she whispered. She only had a short journey to go-- one hour by train. The bitter irony of her situation didn't escape her. "Why would you do this to me?" she wondered again, forgetting in her grief that she'd long ago given up on that religious nonsense.

She attracted a few funny looks from other passengers, all dressed in black and whispering to herself, but didn't notice, her mind still engulfed in sorrow. She'd never see them again... and the last time she'd spoken to all of them... to any of them, actually, had been in a petty argument! How could she go on with life, with only that memory of them to hold onto?

After an agonizing hour, which felt like an eternity to the grieving young woman, the train pulled into the station, and she walked off to find her room for the night; the wake was the next morning.

She dreamed for the first time in years, that night: a vivid dreem, like no other that she could remember. It was about lions-- no, a Lion-- and her siblings had been talking with it. It seemed, as she thought back about it, that they had been discussing her... and their grief on how she had tunred her back on them.

At this, her heart nearly broke. It was a children's game, how should she have known they would care so very much for it? She would have played along, truly she would've, if only she'd known...

But this was all nonsense, her reasonable side argued. It was only a dream! Dreams were just that; they were no more, no less, than a product of one's imagination. No matter how strong the dream had been, or the feeling that followed, she could not allow herself to dwell on it.

Thus, it was with a resolute, but very weary heart, that Susan approached the funeral home. The coffins were closed; the train-wreck had taken a toll on their bodies, though they had felt none of it, thank God... she stopped herself. No, no. She mustn't let her principles slip just because of this.

With tremendous effort and strength, she managed to avoid tears. She told herself firmly that it would be silly, little-girlish. She must be strong, now. Throughout the day, she was silent, smiling occasionally as older friends and those who had known them shared memories. But it wasn't until the very end of the wake, just after the sermon, that her firm emotional grip finally slipped.

She had rested one hand on her little sister's coffin-- oh, how horrid that sounded to her mind-- and looked around the room to distract herself. Her eyes fell on a picture, high on the wall... she hadn't noticed it before. It was a painting of a lion. His eyes were... so very real. They seemed to be staring into her very soul. Suddenly, she felt worn... as if her very spirit was exhausted... or starved.

Then, she began to cry. Silently, she sank down into a nearby chair and buried her head in her arms. Oh, Peter... Edmund... Lucy! They were gone, and she had been left to live on alone, Aslan help her—

Aslan...

Then, Susan fainted altogether. She felt something snap inside her, almost as though some part of her had died. A close friend of Edmund's saw her collapse and went over, holding her from hitting the ground. She murmured something, barely audible, as she drifted out of consciousness.

"Once a queen..."

The young man exchanged a confused glance with his brother as the two of them lifted her onto a low table, nearby.

Susan seemed to be falling for quite some time, through a dark void, before she hit the ground, yet found her landing very soft. She blinked and looked around, finding herself on a soft meadow.

"Susan," a deep voice, familiar somehow, sounded behind her.

She whirled, scrambling to her feet to face the speaker, and found herself looking directly into the eyes of a great Lion. His breath was hot on her face-- which, she suddenly realized, was cold, cold as ice. His eyes were terrible-- yet she found solace in them. She lost her voice, and fell to her knees, stunned.

There were several long moments before the Lion spoke again. By then, she had lost all her carefully constructed composure, all of her grown-up dignity, and was weeping openly like a child. He talked for a long time, and she listened and knew before he had finished how every wrong she had been. And long had she repented, when he finally smiled at her, something she had missed with all she soul, though she'd never realized it until then.

"Take heart, Susan," he told her, "And dry your tears. All is forgiven."Then she came forward, and he embraced her, as a prodigal whose return had been long awaited by her anxious father. "Now go in peace, he finally said, and she turned to go back. "But take heed. Narnia has come to the end of her time. You must find the path in your own world now." She nodded, knowing that it would be harder than than her life before, but... she needed it.

"Susan? Susan? She's coming around!"

She blinked and slowly sat up. Had it all been another dream? But-- no. She felt, without a doubt, that Aslan had come to her. She must obey him... there would be no more Narnia to govern, lighting her path. She must follow it with His help anyway, and not stray, and someday, find her beloved brothers and sister, along it as well.

"Yes," she answered, "I'll be fine, thank you."

_Again, sorry about the inconsistencies and such. _


End file.
